Not Soon Enough
by SuperBaekTrash
Summary: Sebastian Morgenstern is on the loose, but he can't keep himself out of the spotlight for too long. What will happen when he returns to the New York Institute? Who will suffer and who will come out unscathed? Takes place sort of after CoFA but as if Jace hadn't gone with Sebastian This is my first angst fanfic, please enjoy the suffering! Feedback is greatly appreciated ;)


Finishing off his milkshake at Taki's, Jace Herondale tossed a ten-dollar bill on the table and walked out. He'd let Kaelie have the change. "Let's get back to the Institute," he muttered to Alec.

Alec nodded and collected his bow and quiver.

They opted for walking back to the Institute instead of using Clary's new portal rune—despite being exhausted after just having fought a hoard of shax demons.

"The Downworlders have been quiet lately," Jace said, "your doing?"

"Yeah, Magnus and I have been working with the Downworld representatives to end the rebellions after…" He didn't have to finish. After Sebastian showed his true colors—and identity as Clary's long-lost brother—he'd gone on a Downworlder killing spree, leading the surviving Downworlders to rebel and attack mudanes, Shadowhunters, and each other. The Downworld was left in pieces for the Clave to mend together. Since Alec was dating a warlock he decided to mend ties with the Downworlders. Him and Magnus were slowly fixing what Sebastian has so recklessly destroyed.

The only remaining problem was that Sebastian Morgenstern was nowhere to be found—no method of tracking could find him and he'd left no clues as to where he'd gone. He'd just _disappeared_.

"Have they found any information on where Sebastian might be?" Alec asked. While Alec was in charge of rebuilding the Downworld, Jace was on the SM12 task force—a group of skilled Shadowhunters focused on finding Sebastian Morgenstern.

"Nothing. It's like he just disappeared off the face of the earth," Jace replied.

"That's not possible," Alec said, "he has to be _somewhere_."

"I know it's not possible, it's just what it feels like."

Jace and Alec walked the rest of the way to the Institute in silence. Everyone had been tense lately since Sebastian's attack and conversation wasn't coming easily.

As they approached the abandoned outside of the church the Institute reveled in, they noticed bodies littering the front yard. Instantly, Jace pulled out a seraph blade, and Alec nocked an arrow onto his bow.

"This isn't good," Alec muttered.

"Sebastian?" Jace said.

"Who else could it be?"

Jace opened the door to the Institute and stepped in before Alec.

The eerie silence that was the Institute was enough to put Jace on even higher alert. He couldn't see any Shadowhunters on the computers and high-tech screens like there usually were—he could, however, see what could only be blood splatters on the screens.

Then he stepped into view. Dressed in a long blood red coat. "I've been waiting for you," said Sebastian Morgenstern. "Get them."

Four other Shadowhunters stepped into the hallway from behind them and grabbed Jace and Alec and dragged them after Sebastian.

"Struggling is futile. I have taken up my father's experimenting hobby," he turned to face them, "only I succeeded."

Alec and Jace kept struggling.

"Get rid of the Lightwood," Sebastian said as if Alec was merely a piece of trash that needed to be disposed.

One of the Shadowhunters holding Alec took out a dagger from his belt and before Jace could get out " _Stop_!", he sliced Alec's throat.

"Alec!" Jace yelled as he watched his parabatai's blood spill down his shirt. Alec's body went limp and he fell to the floor. He struggled even more against the Shadowhunters holding him. He almost tore free but the two Shadowhunters that had been containing Alec moved toward him and helped the other Shadowhunters hold him. "I'll kill you!" he yelled to Sebastian.

"I'll let you try," Sebastian said.

He stopped trying to fight the Shadowhunters. The full impact of Alec's death hit him.

The cord snapped.

Jace felt a sharp pain in his chest where his parabatai rune was. He looked down at his chest; a pool of blood began to form in the place of the rune; he felt his parabatai rune fade. "Alec," he whispered. Tears began rolling down his cheeks. "Alec," he whispered again.

"To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed," Sebastian said, mirroring the words Valentine had always said to him.

Turning to another one of his Shadowhunters Sebastian said, "Bring me my sister."

"What've you done to Clary?" Jace yelled, struggling against the Shadowhunters once again. He'd already lost Alec, he would _not_ let Sebastian take Clary.

"Oh don't worry, I would never harm her."

He heard the rattle of chains.

"Beloved sister," Sebastian said.

"Clary," Jace said. Two Shadowhunters held her by her arms and one walked ahead, pulling her by a chain that connected to manacles at her wrists. Her clothes were stained with blood and she had a bandage wrapped around her left wrist.

"Jace," she said, meeting his gaze. They tried going to each other but the Sebastian's men held them back. "What did you do?" she said to Sebastian, undoubtedly noticing the tears still falling from his eyes.

"I simply got rid of an inconvenience," Sebastian replied nonchalantly, as if he was talking about a bug he'd just killed.

Sebastian had ordered his men to chain up Jace and sit Clary on her designated "throne".

They unlocked her manacles only to have her wrists chained to the arms of the monstrous chair Sebastian had brought with him. Although Clary hated to admit it, the plush velvet seat was extremely comfortable however horrendous it was to look at.

"Now dear sister, your dearly beloved will suffer what I had to endure for 18, _long_ , _harsh_ years with our dear old dad," Sebastian said. One of his Shadowhunters brought him a wooden box carved one simple rune. Clary would be stupid not to recognize it; she'd seen it used before. The agonyrune. The Clave's favorite method of torture.

Sebastian opened a box and took out a metal whip. "Demon metal," he explained. "The same one that Valentine used on me."

" _No_ ," Clary whispered. "Please don't do this," she pleaded to her brother. She struggled against the chains on her wrist. " _Please_."

Once, Clary might've appreciated the sight of Jace's naked back but not when he was strung up by chains ready to be whipped by her sociopathic brother.

Sebastian set the demon metal whip back in the box. "But this would be too much of a mercy." He turned back to Jace. "I want you to suffer."

"Sebastian please, _I'm begging you_ , please don't do this," Clary pleaded.

Sebastian ignored Clary's pleads. "Jace got _everything_ I always wanted—everything I _deserved_. Why did he get to leave, to have a family, _to be loved_? Now it's his turn to suffer—to feel a _fraction_ of the pain that I felt; he will never be able to feel the loneliness, the _misery_ that I felt. No. Because he never _felt_ lonely or unwanted."

"You think my life was all diamonds and pearls but I was raised by Valentine, same as you," Jace said.

"You might've been raised by Valentine but you were the perfect _Angel Boy_ ," Sebastian said to Jace. "You didn't suffer through _half_ of the things I suffered. But on the other hand, I'm glad to have been raised the way I was. What kind of pathetic boy mourns over the death of his falcon? You couldn't stomach to do what needed to be done." Sebastian turned back to Clary. "You, my dear sister, will watch as you beloved Angel Boy finally gets what he deserves, because you never learned to love me. We are perfect for one another, but you are too blind to see it."

"You're sick," Clary hissed.

Sebastian ignored her. "But I have come to realize that no matter how much you could love me—you would never love me as much as your precious _Jace_." He extended a hand to one of his Shadowhunters and was quickly given a plain metal whip.

He unfurled it and brought his arm back. The scene played in slow motion to Clary; the whip slowly tore through Jace's flesh drawing blood the instant metal met flesh. She didn't know when she'd started screaming and fighting. Despite the pain he must've felt, only a grunt came from Jace.

And Sebastian did it again.

And again.

And again.

It felt like an eternity before he stopped and pulled out a stele to draw an iratze on Jace's bloodied back. The whip marks began to close and heal.

"Remember this feeling?" Sebastian whispered to Jace. "Torture then heal then torture again. Only with you it was only a few broken fingers if you played the wrong note on your precious piano."

He stepped back from Jace and started again.

" _Enough Sebastian_!" Clary yelled.

"You're right, Clary. My arm is getting quite tired; why don't you come and help me?" Sebastian said.

"You're sick if you think I'll torture Jace myself," Clary snapped.

"I thought you might say that… Bring the Daylighter and the Lightwood in," he said to his men.

"No, _please_ ," Clary said for what felt like the millionth time.

Isabelle and Simon were brought in by two guards each.

"Clary, I will give you a choice," Sebastian began, "you may choose to let one of these two," he said gesturing to Isabelle and Simon, "to take your beloved's place."

More tears poured from Clary's eyes. "I'm begging you," she whispered.

"Just whip me, Clary," Jace said. "It's fine, Clary. It's not your choice."

"How noble of you, Jace," Sebastian said. "Let's have a look, shall we." Sebastian walked over to Simon. "If you whip your beloved best friend, you lose the trust of your friend Isabelle." He moved to stand by Isabelle. "But if you chose to spare your best friend and your lover, Simon would never forgive you. So, who will it be?"

"No one," Clary said. "I won't do anything you say."

"It seems like you need motivation." Sebastian turned to one of his men. "Agony rune."

A Shadowhunter holding Isabelle pulled out a stele and drew a rune on Isabelle's forearm. Her cries of pain filled the silence.

"Stop! Make it stop!" Isabelle shrieked.

"I get it!" Clary said. "I'll do what you ask."

"Excellent." Sebastian gestured towards Shadowhunters by Isabelle and they sliced the agony rune down the middle then he moved back to the wooden box which held the demon metal whip.

The Shadowhunters standing by Clary began unlocking her wrists.

Sebastian extended the demon metal whip to his sister.

"Not with that," Clary said.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice in this matter." Sebastian took Clary's hand and placed the handle of the whip in it. "You have 5 seconds to decide who it will be or I will choose for you. Five, four, three—"

"Jace," she whispered.

"That's what I would've suggested," he whispered into her ear. Before she could pull her arm back, Sebastian tightened his grip on her wrist and pressed the tip of his stele onto her skin.

"What are you doing?"

"I case you haven't noticed—and if you haven't I'd suggest acquiring a mirror—you are much smaller and weaker than me, but there's nothing s few strength runes can't fix." He drew three runes in to total—two on her arm and one on her neck.

Sebastian positioned her a few feet from Jace and stepped back. "Don't think of doing anything stupid—your friends' lives are at stake."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. The tears blurred her vision but she brought her arm back and lashed. Not even a cry from Jace.

" _Harder_ ," Sebastian said.

Her chest trembled from her sobs as she brought her arm back and lashed again.

" _Harder_ ," Sebastian said again.

She lashed again, feeling the strength from the freshly applied runes on her arm. That got a cry from Jace.

"Again."

 _"_ _Again."_

 _"_ _Again."_

 _"_ _Again."_

Clary's knees buckled and she fell to the floor.

"I said, _again_ ," Sebastian hissed.

" _Enough_ ," Clary said. "Please, I'll do anything you want me to— _anything_."

"Beg for me Clary. Beg. For. _Me_. Say that you want me, say that you don't love Jace, say that you love _me_. Be my queen, come with me."

"I love you," Clary said. "I love you—I'll go with you. Now _please_ , let them go."

A tense silence swept the Institute.

At last Sebastian sighed. " _Fine_. Anything for you, my love." He gestured a hand to his men. "Let them go."

The Shadowhunters let go of Isabelle and Simon and unchained Jace.

Clary ran to Jace and covered his back with her jacket. "Jace, Jace," she muttered against his neck.

"It's okay, _I'm_ okay," he assured her, even though they both knew it was far from the truth.

"Come on my love," Sebastian said from above her, "we must be on our way."

"Will I see them again?" Clary asked.

"I haven't decided yet." Sebastian grabbed Clary by the arm and yanked her up.

Grunting in pain, Jace slowly got up too. "I swear by the Angel, wherever you go, I will find you and the Angel help you when I do."

Sebastian laughed silently.

"What's so funny?" Jace asked.

"I've grown tired of you." Before Clary realized what was happening, Sebastian pulled a dagger from his coat and stabbed Jace in the chest with it.

She felt Jace's blood splatter on her shirt as she tumbled to the floor alongside him.

"No. No no no no no. _Jace_!"

" _Clary_ ," he whispered.

"You're going to be okay," she muttered. She took off her shirt, not caring who saw her in her white bra, and wrapped it around the dagger imbedded in Jace's chest to try and stop the bleeding.

"I love you," Jace whispered.

"No, no, don't do that. You are _not_ going to die on me."

"I am, Clary," Jace said. "There are a million things I wish I would've done with you, Clary Fairchild. I wanted to have married you, to be the father of your children, grow old with you…"

She laid her head on his chest. "Please don't leave me."

"I love you…"

The world froze. Clary felt trapped in time. She looked down at the love of her life, who's life was being torn away. She wanted to marry him, be the mother of his children, grown old with him. But now she'd never get to.

She knew Shadowhunters often died young—but they died in battle, fighting to save the lives of innocent mundanes; not weak, weaponless, and without fighting. Jace's life had been taken away from him unfairly—she'd just lost the love of her life, _unfairly_. And there was nothing she could do. Nothing but lay beside him and watch his blood spill and his life drain away.

Someone was shaking her, calling her name, but it wasn't Sebastian.

" _Clary_ ," Simon repeated.

She seemed to snap back into reality. "Simon?"

"It's me, Clary," Simon said.

Clary looked around. "What's going on?"

"Reinforcements finally came."

"When?"

"Just now."

Clary looked back down at Jace's body. "But it wasn't soon enough, they didn't get to save Jace." More and more tears fell down her cheeks and Simon pulled her in for a hug.

She would've cried onto his shoulder forever had he not brought her up and taken her to her room.

In her white mourning clothes, Clary laid on Jace's bed—Jace's _old_ bed now. A small pool of tears was forming on the covers beside her face.

"Clary?" someone called from the door "The ceremony is about to start."

"I'm not going," she said between sobs.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to see him," Clary said.

"Alright, I'll tell the others you weren't feeling well."

Clary waited until the door was tightly shut then she wept for her dead love until she had no more tears in her.


End file.
